Sadie had been mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually preparing for this day. She’d done tarot readings, meditated, burned incense and charged her crystals. Her baby was almost here, the nursery was together, she had clothes, diapers, and all kinds of prepared food in her fridge. Witch hazel, water, teas, and all kinds of candles.
When her contractions started, slow and almost lazy, pressing at the small of her back and curling around to her lower belly, she wasted no time in calling her cousin Lavender.
Rocking back and forth in bed, soles of her feet pressed together, Sadie tossed her hair out of her face and beamed as she waited for Lav to pick up. When she did, mumbling a sleepy hello into the phone, Sadie immediately launched into a bubbly babble.
“Laaaav it’s Sadie! Okay so my water hasn’t broken or anything but I’m most definitely having contractions, and I just told you she’d come around this date, didn’t I? I told you I wasn’t gonna be having a Scorpio, I just couldn’t.”
Lav yawned on the other side of the phone, then her soft voice came through again. “Wait…Sadie? Are you in labor?”
“I think so, yes! I’ve been having very slow contractions for an hour or so!”
“Oh! Oh gosh, okay, let me get out of bed and get my things and I’ll be right over!”
The two laughed and chatted a little bit more before hanging up, and Sadie set her phone down next to her in the bed, beaming a big smile and stretching her arms high above her. She relished in the stretch, wriggling her hips a little bit and arching her back, noting how heavy and round her belly felt in her lap.
She’d just been so excited for this day, and now it was finally here! Her little blessing from the universe was on its way.
Slowly, she got herself out of bed and wandered into the kitchen. She almost lazily made herself a cup of tea, her hands rubbing up and down her belly while she waited for her kettle. Another contraction began to prod at her lower back while she waited, but the new mom just closed her eyes and smiled, humming lightly in the back of her throat as she swayed from foot to foot.
When Lavender got there, tote bag slung over her shoulder and her light green hair up in a frizzy bun, she half expected to find her older cousin squatting in the living room holding a baby, or with a head hanging out of her.
Instead, she found her cousin lounging on the couch, flipping through channels on the TV, cup of steaming tea held in one hand. Sadie looked up as Lavender walked in, absolutely beaming at her cousin. “Hiiii!”
Lavender laughed and immediately came over to give her cousin a big squeezy hug. The two of them had been close ever since they were kids, all but raised together. Thankfully the friendship had lasted into their adulthoods, and when Sadie had found herself suddenly and unexpectedly pregnant, Lavender had been the first one she’d called.
It was only fair play, as Lavender had called Sadie first when her engagement had gotten broken off, and also when she’d finally graduated from college.
The two relied on each other.
Sadie gave Lavender a squeeze, then the two separated, and Lavender set her tote bag down before perching on the edge of the coffee table, excitedly looking at her cousin. She darted out a hand and rubbed her warm, taut belly, her eyes twinkling. “So? How’s it going?”
“Just fine…I’ve been, uhm.” Sadie wiggled her phone in the air, looking for the words. “Timing the contractions with this app. Like I said, they’ve all been nice and easy so far. I just need to breathe through them for a sec.”
“Okay! That’s a good thing! How are you feeling?”
“Oh, lovely.” Sadie beamed, stretching her legs out a little. “I mean. Very pregnant. Ready for this part to be over already.”
The two giggled, and Sadie smoothed her palm over her belly before she continued.
“But overall, I feel fine. Just…ready.”
Lavender nodded and smiled brightly. “Good! Well, uh, I brought some incense, the kind you liked when you visited last time, and I have all my stuff for an overnight.”
“Perfect! You want to pop in a movie for now, see how things work out while we watch?”
“Are you sure? You don’t need to concentrate or anything?” Lavender tilted her head quizzically, and Sadie shrugged a shoulder, setting her phone down on top of her belly, balanced there.
“I think right now I’m okay, I did some meditation while I was waiting for you.”
“Okay, if you’re sure! Whatcha wanna watch?”
Sadie waved a hand at her small shelf full of DVDs and BluRays. “Pick anything over there! Maybe nothing sad though, I don’t wanna cry right now.”
“Of course not, this is a happy occasion!” Lavender giggled and hopped to her feet, padding over to the shelf to choose a movie. Once they’d chosen and got it popped into the player, she popped a big bowl of buttery popcorn in the kitchen and brought them both some sweet teas. Sadie even showed her where her candy stash was (in a drawer in the side table by the couch arm), and they broke out a big bag of MnMs.
Together, the cousins snuggled in and began to watch their movie, Sadie making sure to remind herself to keep her breathing steady and even, and keeping a palm pressed on her lower belly (except when she needed the hand for snacks).
As the movie progressed, she had a couple more contractions, both of them lasting about as long as the ones before them had. A firm pressing down in her belly, a clenching of the muscles.
But as the movie went on, the amount of time between them became longer and longer. Sadie found herself wrapped up in the movie and not even noticing them by the time the climax rolled around.
When the credits started, she huffed a soft breath through her nose and untangled herself from Lavender, unlocking her phone and peeking at the timing app. It had been easily half an hour since her last contraction. And judging by the little graph, it had only lasted around 25 seconds, maybe 28 if she was being generous with how quickly she had hit the buttons.
Sitting up, Lavender looked at her with concern, wiping off her hands with her napkin and tossing their trash into the empty popcorn bowl. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah, they’re fine…everything kind of…slowed down.”
“Slowed down how?” her cousin tilted her head again, scooting closer and resting a warm hand on her swollen side.
“Like…I didn’t have a contraction the entire last bit of the movie. It’s been over half an hour.” Sighing, Sadie shook some of her curls out of her face and looked down at her belly, palming the opposite side. “I guess…it was probably a false alarm.”
Tisking her tongue, Lavender looked disappointed for a moment, but forced a small smile. “Hey, you want me to still sleep over tonight? In case something happens? We can do breakfast in the morning.”
Softening, Sadie looked up and nodded. “I’d like that, if you can swing it…”
“No problem.” Leaning in, Lavender pulled her into a hug, rubbing her back softly. “I’ll probably have to scoot after breakfast if things really have stalled, but I’m here, ok?”
“Of course. Maybe I’ll like…bounce on the ball for a little bit or something.” Sadie mumbled into the hug, and Lavender brightened, giving her back a pat before pulling away.
“Yeah! That should help get things moving, right?”
With Sadie’s nod, the two of them wiggled off of the couch to clean up and do some bouncing.
However…even with bouncing on the ball, some chips and hot salsa, and some chocolate, Sadie’s labor didn’t return. When the cousins headed to bed, the last contraction marked in Sadie’s app was the one she had in the middle of the movie.
The two of them had a quiet and pleasant breakfast the next morning, and Lavender helped with the dishes before giving her cousin another tight hug and scooting out the door to get ready for work.
Left with a quiet house and a baby still rammed in her ribcage, Sadie flopped onto the couch and stared down at her belly, taut and heavy underneath her sleep shirt, the morning sun filtering through her curtains casting rays across it. With a soft sigh, she relaxed a bit, smiling a little and drawing her fingertips across her lower belly.
“In your own time, right little love? You’ll be here soon. You just…need a little more time in the oven. I trust you, okay?”
A nudge to her ribs. Sadie smiled.
–
The contractions finally started back up again the day after, this time around midday. Sadie was out on a small waddle-walk around her neighborhood, keeping one foot up on the curb whenever she could, for the extra nudging stretch.
She felt the surge, the unmistakable nudging and prickling at her lower back, and she couldn’t help but break into a huge smile. Pausing, the new mom lowered her hands to her knees and let her belly hang, doing some deep breathing as she quietly thanked the universe for finally letting her meet her baby.
When it faded, she gathered herself up and quickly waddled back home, not wasting a moment before sending Lavender a text.
Baby time! 4 Real! 👶Go time!
She kicked off her shoes, waddled carefully into the livingroom, and busied herself lighting candles while she waited for a reply.
Luckily, she didn’t have to wait long, as her cousin texted back with lightning speed.
4 real? OMW Mama, hold em in! 🚗
Laughing, Sadie texted back a couple of baby emojis, then tapped over to her contraction timing app as she plopped herself down on the exercise ball that she hadn’t bothered to put away from her false alarm.
Setting herself to bouncing, she closed her eyes and rubbed her belly with both hands as she waited. Things were finally falling into place. The event from the previous day had gotten her a little down, if she was being honest with herself. She was anxious to finally hold her baby that she’d been waiting so long to have, and she had thought that her body was finally ready. The fact that her labor had stalled made her doubt herself.
But here she was, finally really ready.
Another surge nudged at her lower back, and Sadie closed her eyes, humming a soft exhale. All she had to do was relax and wait now. She could do this.
When Lavender arrived around fifteen minutes later and let herself in, she found her cousin still gently bouncing on the ball, her phone lit up and timing a contraction on the coffee table at her side.
She kicked off her shoes and approached on excited tiptoes, perching on the edge of the couch. She watched as Sadie, belly held in both hands, took a big inhale, then opened her eyes and exhaled as she leaned forward and tapped the phone to turn off the timer.
“Hi.” Lavender beamed, and Sadie smiled back, her eyes twinkly.
“Hi.”
“How’s it going, mama?”
“FIne, so far…I’m so ready.”
“I am too.” Giggling, Lavender reached out and lovingly rubbed the side of Sadie’s belly. “Again.”
“Again.” Sadie rolled her eyes, then shook her head and pushed her hair out of her face. “Can you go find me a scrunchie? I think there’s one on my dresser. I wanna head outside and lay in the hammock for a while, my hips are aching.”
“You got it.” Lavender immediately hopped to her feet, retrieved a scrunchie, then helped her cousin tie up her hair. The two then made their way out onto the back porch, one of Lavender’s favorite parts of her cousin’s place.
Outside was a covered concrete porch, which led into the grass-filled backyard and flower garden. A yoga mat and some incense burners were already out here, and a cloth hammock was strung up between two of the beams of the wooden awning.
Sadie paused, stretching her arms over her head and closing her eyes, as they stepped outside. “Mmh. I’d hoped I’d be able to soak up some moon energy when I was in labor, but the sun is good too…feels good.”
“Yeah, it’s a beautiful day.” Lavender smiled and closed her eyes, taking in a deep, cleansing inhale of the soft spring breeze.
The two rested there a moment until Sadie felt another contraction prickling at the small of her back, and she quickly opened her eyes and waddled over to the hammock. One hand holding the fabric and the other cradling her belly, she all but tumbled into it, giggling softly and wriggling around until she was comfortable. “Oof. Oooh, okay…”
Closing her eyes, she let her hands come to rest on the edges of the fabric cradling her body, near her head. She took a deep breath as the contraction washed through her, trying to focus.
She heard Lavender’s footsteps, sensed her picking something up and moving it closer, and then heard her settle down. The contraction was soft, almost like kneading bread dough or squeezing the juice out of a fruit. It felt good to lie back in the hammock, the swaying fabric cradling her sore hips and belly.
Slowly, she pulled in a deep inhale, then blew it out with pursed lips, focusing on holding it as long as she could manage. If things continued just like this, maybe she could just pop the baby out right here in the hammock, surrounded by nature. Wouldn’t that just be lovely.
A smile flickered on her face as the contraction peaked, then quickly fell. When it was over, she opened her eyes and peeked over at Lavender. Her cousin had made herself comfortable on the yoga mat right nearby, the soles of her feet pressed together and her hands resting on her knees.
Lav grinned excitedly at her, eyes bright and excited, and Sadie couldn’t help but giggle. “Mm. I think I’m just gonna pop em right out in here, how’s that sound?”
“Ooh, sounds good to me. Lemme know when so I can help you catch em.” Sadie laughed softly in response, reaching out and giving the hammock a little nudge so it would rock back and forth.
“Mmmh…” Sadie hummed a happy noise and closed her eyes, laying her head down and just relaxing into the day. This was perfect. It was exactly how she wanted it.
–
Things were not perfect.
The day creeped along, the sun outside growing a bit hotter and the breeze dying down.
After a few more contractions, soft and squeezing, Sadie waited…and waited. And waited.
Again, just like the previous day, there were no more.
Brow furrowed, hand gripping the edge of the hammock, she’d pressed her fingers against herself through her clothes, then almost angrily shoved her hand down her pants to check herself, fingers prodding clumsily at her cervix.
She was still open just a fingertip, exactly as she had been to start the morning.
With a groan, she pulled her hand free and threw her elbow over her face, frustrated tears prickling her eyes. “No! What am I doing wrong??”
“Oh, honey.” Lavender sighed, sitting up and coming over to give her cousin a hug. “You aren’t doing anything wrong…this is how it goes sometimes. Bodies are weird. You can just…count this as practice! You know you like it in the hammock now, right?”
Sadie sniffled, swallowing hard before slowly nodding. “Yeah. Yeah, I guess so…I just…” Slowly, she pulled her elbow down and stared down at her belly, a miserable look on her face. “I just wanna have my baby already.”
“I know you do.” Lavender stroked her forehead, looking at her understandingly. “You’re gonna. Soon. I just know it. You wanna go inside? Get something to drink? I can go pick us up some snacks…?”
Sadie let out a shaky sigh, then nodded, holding out her hands for help to wiggle out of the hammock.
The two watched another movie, cuddled on the couch, Sadie had a small cry, and the two ate many snacks. It wasn’t the way they’d envisioned spending the rest of the day, but, looking back, it wasn’t a terrible one.
Especially considering what events took place the night after that.
–
After Lavender left the next morning, Sadie had tried to be kind to herself. She’d taken a long, lazy nap, ordered in her favorite food, and watched some bad TV.
However, she couldn’t help herself, once she’d cleaned up after dinner, she found herself wandering into the nursery and spending some time refolding the cloth diapers she’d collected and checking over the blankets and towels she wanted to use for her labor and birth.
She looked down at herself while folding one of the soft blankets, and she sighed, smoothing her palm up and down her belly. Maybe she wasn’t ready. Maybe she just…needed more time, and this was the universe’s way of telling her that.
Shaking her head, Sadie set aside the blankets and the old towels, pulling herself out of the nursery and willing herself to just go to bed.
She popped a chocolate kiss in her mouth and let it melt on her tongue as she got into her pjamas, an entirely-too-big tshirt from an old ex and a pair of boxers, elastic pulled underneath the swell of her belly, comfortingly holding her pubic mound and sitting low on her hips.
She crawled into bed and gathered her pillows, closing her eyes and willing her body to relax, open, and ready itself.
–
At 3am, the witching hour, Sadie woke up, brow furrowing in concern, as she realized her thighs were wet.
Why were her thighs wet?
Grumbling, she shifted groggily in bed and dropped a hand, pulling at the wet and sticky fabric of her boxers. Yuck.
Wrestling against her heavy belly, she rolled herself out of bed and pulled down the damp boxers, only to have a bit more fluid leak out of her when she bent over.
With a soft “Mmh?” she blinked against the darkness of the room and cupped a hand between her legs, swiping at the moisture there and rubbing her fingers together. Was her water getting ready to break? Did she have to go to the bathroom?
No, she didn’t need to…maybe her water was going to break. Maybe this was it.
Almost as quickly as the thought flashed through her head, Sadie pushed it back. No, she didn’t need to jump the gun. Just…clean up, get a change of clothes. Breathe.
So, sleepily, she followed her own instructions, pulling on another pair of boxers and washing her hands before rubbing at her thighs with a baby wipe. Once she felt clean, she crawled back into bed and sat propped up against her headboard, hands cradling both sides of her belly.
After a couple of breaths, her belly tightened, and she lifted her head, bowing it forward and scrunching up her eyes. Like greeting a familiar friend, she met the rising contraction with a deep breath.
Was this a sign? Was her water really breaking? Was this it?
Shifting against her pillows, she forcefully shoved those thoughts aside and grabbed at her blanket, grumbling as she shoved it between her legs and underneath her heavy belly. She’d have to do laundry anyway, she didn’t care if she leaked on her sheets. She just needed the support.
The contraction kneaded at her lower back, then slowly faded, and Sadie let out her breath in a big whoosh, her eyes sliding back open. That didn’t seem like it lasted very long. Maybe she was just having another false alarm.
Her fingers twitched, and she started to reach for her phone, but hesitated. When she did pick it up, all she did was check the time and log the contraction. Just after 3am, and the surge had lasted around 30 seconds. She tapped over to her text messages, reading the last couple she’d sent to Lavender.
Her thumb hesitated over the buttons, and she finally just locked her phone and set it aside, planting her hands on the bed to heft herself up to sit higher. She’d text or call her later, if things didn’t just fade out on their own. She didn’t want to wake her up at 3 freaking o'clock in the morning.
As she shifted and got herself more comfortable, Sadie’s eyes landed on her deck of tarot cards, sitting on her bedside table in their velvet bag. Maybe just to soothe her mind she could do a quick reading.
Taking a deep, cleansing breath, she reached over and grabbed the bag, taking out the deck. She loved these cards, they’d been a gift from her mother. She only did readings every now and then, when she had a question for the universe that wasn’t answering itself or making itself apparent in another way.
Holding the cards close to her chest, forearms resting on her belly, she began to shuffle and play with the cards, breathing deeply and centering her mind. It felt good, at least to focus on something that wasn’t her impending labor and mistrust in her body.
She continued to shuffle and move the cards around until one card fell out. Strangely, it landed right in her lap, and Sadie had to peer over her belly to peek and try to find it. She finally picked it up and held it up, her heart warming as she stared at it in the dim light. It was The Empress, and it had landed facing upright.
Sadie slowly smiled as she stared at the card. The figure on it was said to resemble motherhood and femininity as well as following what you knew to be true in your heart. She slid her thumb across the image on the card, a beautiful woman reclined on a throne with flowing robes and a crown on her head, a scepter in one hand and the other laying loosely in her lap.
She took another deep breath, then slotted the card back in with the others and tucked the deck back into the velvet bag. As she pulled the cords to draw the bag shut, another contraction pressed against the small of her back, and she quickly tossed the deck onto the bedside table and braced her palms against her knees, elbows locked.
As she inhaled, she closed her eyes, then focused on letting her breath out as slowly as possible, lips pursed like she was blowing out a candle.
Candle…she should light some candles. Some incense. Even if this was another false labor, having the soft light and aromatherapy would help her relax.
Reaching the bottom of her breath, she drew in another through her nose, then sank into her slow exhale.
She tapped in the timing of the contraction once she was released, then slowly untangled herself from her sheets and peeled herself out of bed. She lit the couple of thick pillar candles set around her room, then a cone of soft floral incense, setting it on her dresser across from her bed.
The last thing she did was open the curtains to her room, drawing the fabric back and resting her hands on the small of her back as she peered out the window. She smiled as she saw the moon perfectly centered in the deep black sky, and she took a moment to step back and let the blue light wash over her.
Swaying from foot to foot, she rocked her hips and massaged at her back a little bit, her eyes rolling closed as she experimented with how her body felt. Especially standing, it felt like her gravity had shifted a little bit, her belly felt lower and settled deeper into her pelvis. That was a good sign…but maybe she was just making it up.
She stood there, bathing in the moonlight, until another contraction prodded at her lower back. Slowly, she turned and crawled back into her soft bed. She folded her arms and lowered her upper body into her pillows, leaving her pelvis and backside raised up into the air and her back straightened. Strangely enough, following her instincts, this position was quite comfortable, and she let herself roll her hips side to side as she rode out the pressing, kneading contraction with deep breathing.
It felt strangely good to just be…here in her own space, doing what she needed to for her body and her mind. She wanted to be connected to herself and her baby while she did this work, and with the two false alarms she’d been afraid she wouldn’t be able to find that connection when it came time.
And maybe this wasn’t even time, but she was slowly finding that connection that she needed.
Sadie stayed in her bed for the next few contractions, tapping them into her app but not paying attention to the numbers, only that they were being tracked as they happened. Instead of watching the numbers, she focused on her breathing, keeping it even and steady, slow and deep. Back straightened, hips slowly rolling and stretching from side to side, belly hanging heavy between her thighs and against the bed, she breathed.
She found herself dropping her jaw and softly moaning on her exhales, releasing the building energy that seemed to be balled up in her pelvis. Using her voice felt right, even though things weren’t all that intense or overwhelming. It just felt…natural, to hum and moan and make noise as the contractions crested and fell.
After a while, she shifted from hands and knees to reclining back against her headboard. She continued her deep breathing, hands drawing slowly up the curve of her belly and then back down as she inflated her chest and then deflated. She pulled one knee up to her chest during the peak of a contraction, and actually found herself smiling at how much more open just that small movement helped her feel.
–
It was shortly after sunrise, the lovely streams of yellow light peeking through the curtains, when Lavender’s phone went off.
Ding-ding
Hey I promise it’s for real this time
My water’s breaking and everything
No rush, I’m totally good, just head over when you can
And plz bring breakfast if you have a minute to stop
<3 u
The multiple messages in a row made Lavender stir, and, grumbling, she shoved the blankets back away from her and grabbed for her phone, squinting at it as she tried to wake up.
As soon as she read the messages, though, adrenaline shot through her and she all but scrambled out of bed, giggling to herself as she gathered up clothes and ran for the bathroom to change and get out of there.
Hey even if it is a false alarm I’m so down for another sleepover
Sadie smiled as she read the message back, then set the phone back down on her bed facedown, letting her breath out with a whoosh.
When she saw the sun rising, she’d finally taken a moment to look back at her timing app. Her contractions had started out a little shaky, a little unevenly spaced and shorter in length. But very quickly, they had become steady and even, and through the rest of the early morning had begun getting closer and closer together.
She was sitting now at around 2 minutes or so apart, and she was…beyond excited and happy. This had to be the real thing, even if you didn’t take into account the steady leaky dripping she’d been doing since she’d woken up.
Now, though…now she felt like she needed to get up. Move, stretch, wiggle around. She wasn’t sure what had shifted but something definitely had.
So, slowly, Sadie peeled herself out of her bed and blew out the candles she’d lit, grabbing her phone and matchbox almost as an afterthought as she wandered into the livingroom.
First thing she did, after tossing her phone onto the couch, was unlock the front door. She then opened the curtains and lit her favorite three wick candle so it would bring its smell to the space (vanilla, spice, and sugar).
A contraction was prickling, poking at her lower back and hips, so, quickly, Sadie tossed the matches onto the side table and tried to pick a spot to stand. As she shifted, she picked up her knees a bit higher, almost like she was marching, and cupped both of her hands under her belly.
“Ohh…hohh.” She huffed and moaned, a small smile flickering across her face and her eyes fluttering shut. With gravity, being upright, things were definitely different. Not overwhelmingly so, but enough for her to notice.
When Lavender came in, bag over her shoulder and takeout bags and drinks tucked in her elbows and against her chest, she found her cousin standing and swaying side to side in the middle of the livingroom, her head tilted back a bit and hands tucked under her belly as if holding it up.
With a smile, she all but tiptoed in, closing the door and setting all her things down on the coffee table. After kicking off her shoes, she approached her cousin and rested her hands on her forearms, whispering under her breath that she was here. In response, Sadie shuffled forward a couple of steps and rested her forehead on her cousin’s shoulder, humming.
Chuckling, Lavender gently rubbed her hands back and forth across the lower swell of Sadie’s belly and the upper curve of her hips. This felt more like what it should have been like when she’d come over the other times. The two of them cuddled together for the rest of the contraction, and finally, after a few more deep breaths, Sadie lifted her head and smiled at Lavender, pushing her hair out of her face with one hand.
“Hi.”
“Hey.” Lav giggled, still gently rubbing her lower belly. “I brought you a breakfast sandwich and some juice, wanna sit and eat?”
“Oh my god you’re the actual best.” Sadie’s shoulders dropped in relief, and she immediately turned, holding one hand out for balance as she wiggled and then flopped onto the sofa.
Lavender laughed, then followed her example, quickly dealing out their food so the two of them could eat.
When mouths were full, Lavender cleared her throat and held a hand in front of her mouth, mumbling. “Mmh. So- fill me in.”
Sadie set down her already half-inhaled sandwich and held up one finger, bracing her other hand on the coffee table, elbow locked. “Hm. Mmmm.” Bowing her head forward, she moaned, spreading her knees apart and rocking her hips forward.
Right away, Lavender shifted her food to one hand and scooted closer, using her closer hand to gently press and rub along the side curve of Sadie’s belly. Taut and firm, she could feel the force of the contraction through her cousin’s soft pj shirt, and she smiled a little bit to herself in awe as she waited.
After a bit, Sadie finally let out her breath and shifted her hips back. “Whooo. Okay. Uhm.” She picked up her sandwich again, laughing at herself a little bit. “I woke up around 3am…and I was leaking. And I had a couple little contractions, and I thought it was way too early to call you, and I was worried it was another false alarm…”
Lavender clicked her tongue and gave her cousin a look, and Sadie stuck her tongue out at her in reply before taking another huge bite of her sandwich. “Mm. I know, shuttup. So I just meditated and did a tarot reading and just kind of…chilled out. Tried to get in the zone. And I guess…it just kept going.” She shrugged, shaking her hair out of her face.
“Mkay. Well, have you checked yourself lately?” Lavender took another bite, looking curious, and Sadie shook her head, palming and pressing on her belly a bit.
“Nah, I don’t wanna psyche myself out too much with progress or whatever. I’ll check in a couple hours if I need to. I just wanna…” She took another big bite, then smiled. “Relax. Let my body work. Try to…connect, y’know?”
Lavender grinned and gave a thumbs up, taking her last bite before balling up her trash and tossing it in the open paper bag. “You got it, mama. That’s why I’m here.”
Sadie beamed, cheeks full of her sandwich, and leaned over to bump her head against her cousin’s shoulder. Lavender laid her head on top of Sadie’s and reached her hand out to rub and pat at her belly, and the two sat there snuggled together for a moment.
The tenderness was broken, though, by the next contraction as it rolled through Sadie’s body. With a grunt, she tossed her sandwich down and heaved herself to her feet, slamming her hands into the small of her back and scrunching her eyes shut tightly. “Mmh. Oh wow. Ohhh wow.”
Lavender scooted over closer as quickly as she could, wiping her hands off on the thighs of her pants before standing and grabbing Sadie by the hips. “Easy, cuz. Breathe…” She hummed, rubbing her hands down the swell of her belly before sliding them back toward her hips.
Slowly, Sadie did, pulling in a deep breath through her nose, then blowing it out with puffed cheeks. It felt…grounding to have Lavender here, but also to have her hands on her when she’s contracting. It was something to put her attention towards, a loving and gentle gesture that contrasted with the crashing surge and pressure deep in her pelvis.
The two of them stood and rocked together while Sadie rode out her contraction. As it peaked, she bent her knees slightly and bowed her head, letting out a soft whine. Lavender nodded, pressing her palms into her lower belly just a little bit firmer. “That’s it…you got it. Don’t fight it…”
Sadie grunted in response, nose scrunched and teeth clenched, then slowly relaxed, swaying her hips side to side and her weight from foot to foot. Lavender followed her, watching her with a soft expression.
It took a moment, but Sadie relaxed after a couple more breaths. She stretched her arms above her head and grumbled, and Lavender couldn’t help but smile, rubbing her hand in a big circle around her belly. “Nice work.”
“Mmh. They’re definitely getting a little rougher…I wanna try the hammock next, that was nice that last time.”
“Sounds like a plan. I’ll bring your drink, yeah?”
“Yeah, thanks…” Sadie shook her hair out of her face, then pulled and adjusted her shirt as she waddled for the back door. Just like the last time, the two stepped out onto the porch and moved to the hammock and the yoga mat, still left in place.
Sadie snuggled her way into the hammock, tucking one foot up underneath her butt and letting the other dangle out of the fabric. Lavender flopped down on the yoga mat, then smiled and held up the drink for her cousin, who took it and drank some of the juice hungrily.
The sun was beginning to warm up the day, the air was fresh and cool, and almost as soon as she’d gotten settled, Sadie shifted, grumbling as another contraction rolled through her body. She shoved the juice back at Lavender, who quickly took it from her, set it on the ground, then reached up a hand into the hammock to press against Sadie’s side.
With a groan, Sadie arched her back and closed her eyes, pressing her own hands around her navel. The breeze blew across her skin, and she tried to pull her focus inward. It was tough, especially feeling like there was a bowling ball or a watermelon settled so deeply in her hips she wasn’t sure how she was ever going to get it out.
Hauling in a deep breath, she let her head fall back into the soft fabric of the hammock and moaned, letting the sound rattle around in her ribcage. The vibrating hum mixed with the release of energy tapped into something primal, and she felt herself relax.
Her shoulders dropped, and when her sound ran out she was able to pull in a much deeper breath. She felt Lavender’s hand rubbing low on her belly, heard her voice mumbling something underneath her rumbling voice, and a smile flickered across her face. She wasn’t alone, this was really happening, and she could do this. She knew she could.
Things were quiet for the next couple of hours. Sadie focused, soaking in the morning breeze and finding her voice in hums and moans and gentle, pulsing grunts. Lavender whispered gentle encouragement, pressing and massaging her belly as her cousin worked, and set the hammock rocking when Sadie began to shift and wriggle uncomfortably.
After a while, though, Lavender noticed that Sadie’s noises had begun to change from softer, more sighing moans. Now they were much deeper, concentrated sounds, and much, much louder. Her cousin had also shifted from just relaxing back in the hammock and letting herself be held to pressing one hand between her legs during each contraction, her brow furrowed as she groaned.
So, as the morning drew toward afternoon, Lavender stood and tapped on Sadie’s upper arm, rubbing her belly softly with her other palm. “Hey mama. Let’s head back inside, get you some water. How about it?”
“Mmh.” Sadie sighed and rubbed a hand across her face, then nodded, opening her eyes and holding out her hands for Lavender. “Yeah, that’s…probably a good idea.”
She wriggled her way out of the hammock, and the two made their way back inside, into the cool and soft-smelling house. The candles really added a lovely warmth and coziness to the air, one that Sadie immediately appreciated. Hands tucked underneath her belly, she right away waddled for her bedroom while Lavender fetched some water from the fridge.
On her way back to the bedroom, she also carefully scooped up the candle that had been lit earlier. She handed the water bottle to her cousin, then set the candle on the dresser, making sure it was still burning.
Sadie took a grateful gulp of the water, then capped it and tossed it on the bed. Folding her arms under her head, she leaned on the footboard and straightened her back, bending first one knee and then the other to sway her hips. Her belly felt heavier than it had before, hanging between her thighs and pulling on her lower back.
As the contraction revved up, she whined a little, hoping Lavender hadn’t left the room. Relief washed over her as she felt her cousin’s cool hands on her hips, and she gave herself over to the contraction as it fully began. Jaw lazily dropping open, she moaned into her folded arms, swaying into Lav’s hands and hauling in lungful after lungful of air.
She was still leaking, she could feel that plainly, and she all but itched to get the boxers off now that they were damp. But she had to wait until she could manage it, trying to stop rocking to step out of them sounded even worse while the contraction held her hips in a vice.
Lavender kneaded her thumbs into the dimples of her cousin’s lower back, her expression one of concentration as she listened intently to her sounds and signals. Things had definitely shifted gears.
When the contraction loosened, Sadie stood, then yanked at the waistband of the boxers. Lavender hesitated, then smiled and helped her off with them, tossing them over into the laundry. “Baby coming?”
“No, I’m just…leaking a lot, and it feels gross.” Sadie huffed a soft laugh through her nose, then crawled into her bed, grumbling as she pulled her pillow to her chest and flopped forward onto it, hips raised in the air and back straight much like she’d done when her labor had begun. This time, though, she shifted one arm underneath her and pressed her fingers to her labia, giving herself a firm counterpressure.
Slowly, her eyes fluttered closed, and she sighed, forehead smoothing out. “...I think…in a while…I wanna try and…nap or something. I feel like…I was all restless and stuff and now I just…feel tired.”
Lavender nodded and climbed onto the bed with her, softly rubbing the heel of her hand up and down her cousin’s lower spine. “You do what you need to. You can lay down anytime, tuck a pillow between your knees and prop up, get some rest. If your body says you need it, you need it.”
“Yeah.” Sadie inhaled deeply, then exhaled slowly, lips pursed. “Lemme just…get through this next one and then I think I oughta try.”
“Sounds good…I’ll be right here.”
“Thanks…”
The room fell into quiet, and through the fuzz and focus in her mind, Sadie found herself glad that the sun was shining through the windows so warm. She’d always felt a pull to the moon, but while she was working, the sunshine seemed to be giving her energy and comfort. She’d have to look into more daytime rituals once baby was here.
When she contracted, Sadie pushed herself up onto her hands and knees, panting open-mouthed as she lifted her head. Shifting and rocking her weight, she spread her knees a bit further apart, then rocked forward onto the heels of her hands before pushing her hips back and sinking hard into her heels with a deep groan.
“There ya go…” Lavender murmured behind her, pressing the heel of her hand into Sadie’s back, and Sadie let her head fall back, trying not to run from the pressure. It was deep, deep and low and pressing. Hauling in a lungful of air, she bowed her head and rocked into her hands again, arching her back and shoving her hips forward so she curled around her belly.
Trying to follow her signals, Lavender cupped her hips in her hands and pressed in, noting to herself in the back of her mind that there was more fluid dripping down the inside of Sadie’s thighs. It was clear, that much she knew, which was a good sign. Instead of calling any attention to it, she just kneaded and pressed at her hips, following her as she moved.
Slowly, Sadie rocked back onto her heels again as the contraction peaked, then she heaved a huge sigh, her lashes fluttering. It felt like a release of energy, and a smile flickered on her face as Lavender rubbed her hands firmly up and down her back with a small giggle.
“You’re really doing amazing.”
“I’m trying…” Sadie mumbled, then pushed her hair out of her face. “Kay, can you…can you get me a scrunchie and then light one of my incense cones? I’m gonna try to…lay down.”
“You got it.” Lavender smiled, giving Sadie’s back a couple pats before wiggling out of the bed and scooting around the room. While she buzzed around, Sadie sat fully back on her heels and grabbed up the water bottle, taking a few big swallows.
She set the bottle on the bedside table, then carefully turned her achy body and flopped down onto her pillows. Tucking one arm under her head, she flailed with the other and balled up her sheet between her legs, then propped another smaller pillow underneath her belly. “Mmh…”
She closed her eyes as the scent of the incense filled the air, and she took in a big breath and blew it out with intent. Clear the lungs, clear the mind, clear the body. Reset. Things are going beautifully, and this baby was going to be here in just a matter of time.
She felt Lavender get up onto the bed, and then her hands were gathering up her hair. She smiled and lifted her head a bit to help, grateful that she could feel the cooler air on her neck now. Lavender patted her shoulder, and then her free hand. “Open.”
“Mmh?” Sadie uncurled her fingers, and a cool stone was placed into her palm. She ran her fingers across it and smiled, recognizing the heart shape and the smooth, tumbled surface.
“Rose quartz. For motherhood and love. Found it on your dresser, thought you might need it. Hang onto that while you try to get some rest, I’m gonna go get some of your laundry started, you just scream if you need me.” Lav’s voice was soft and sweet, and Sadie melted into a smile, nodding.
“Okay. Thanks…”
Lavender patted Sadie’s hip, then scooted off of the bed, gathered the laundry that was in the corner (tossing in a few of the things that had missed the basket) and padded out of the room, leaving the door mostly open but pulled just a little bit.
Sadie listened to her leave, then took a deep breath in and willed herself to relax. Pressing her palm and the rose quartz heart to her belly, she nuzzled her face into the pillow…and breathed.
–
Exhausted, Sadie drifted quickly into a light sleep. Her body craved the rest, even as it continued working to prepare to have this baby.
She dreamed, and it was more like different scenes pieced together instead of a coherent story. In one, she was swimming in an ocean that bobbed her up and down with the rough waves, but she wasn’t scared. In the next, she was carrying a bowling ball that was much too heavy for her, and nobody would tell her where to put it so she was left just carrying it around with her, looking for where to put it down.
In the last, before she woke up, she was in a forest, leaning back against a sturdy tree, waiting for her baby to arrive. She could tell, somehow, that it should be coming soon. She shifted her hips side to side and looked up at the treetops above her, water dripping from between her legs and flowers growing wherever it landed.
It was a couple hours of slightly restless sleep, but sleep that she needed. When she woke up, it was because there really was fluid leaking from her, a wet spot on the blankets underneath her, and she felt the desperate need to squat or open up, and now.
With an uncomfortable grunt, she stared into the middle distance and yanked the damp blanket from between her legs, then rolled further onto her side and grabbed her upper leg behind the knee, huffing as she pulled it toward her chest. It wasn’t enough, but as the contraction rolled through her, it offered a bit of relief. Puffing her cheeks, she focused in on her breathing, snuggling her face against the pillow underneath her head.
She was still leaking, and it was annoying. As she shifted her hips back and forth, she could feel the damp fabric of her boxers sticking to her thighs, and she couldn’t help but grumble. Nothing about this was comfortable, she needed to move. To open. Things were shifting, and she needed to shift with them.
When the contraction faded, she planted her hands on the bed and heaved herself up, then grabbed at her boxers and yanked them down and off immediately. She bent her knees and stuck a hand between her legs to prod at her labia, hoping she would be able to feel something, despite knowing she wasn’t quite there yet.
When Lavender came back in, having heard the shifting and the grumbles from the other room, she found her cousin in a deep squat on the side of the bed, elbows leaned back on the mattress and back arched, belly shoved forward and a concentrated look on her face as she wriggled to try to get more open.
Unable to stop a small giggle from escaping, she quickly scooted over to her and kneeled down at her side, smoothing a hand up and down her upper back. “Hey. Did you sleep?”
“Mmh. Hang on.” Sadie grunted, pulling one foot in closer under her butt and growling as she butterflied her knees back. Pulling in a deep, firm breath, she huffed it out through her nose, a soft grumbly grunt rumbling at the tail end of the breath.
Nodding, Lavender just continued rubbing her back. She dropped her other hand to cradle the bottom of Sadie’s belly, leaning down to peek a little bit. “You’re definitely leaking…it looks clear though, which is good…”
“Mm.” Sadie nodded, then growled and dropped her head back, rocking her hips forward and then back. “Mmh. Hahhh.”
“There ya go. Remember your low sounds…” Lavender gently stroked back and forth across Sadie’s lower belly, and Sadie tried to latch onto the feeling. Grabbing a deep breath, she sunk into a deep moan, then sighed as the contraction finally released.
“Hoooh. Damn. They really aren’t kidding…”
“You’re doing amazing. You wanna stay here?”
“Mm.” Sadie shook her head firmly and shifted, grabbing onto Lavender’s arm. Carefully, the two stood up, and Sadie kept a hold of her cousin’s forearm, kneading at her lower back and tailbone area with her other hand. “No, no…I think standing is good for right now…”
“You got it. You wanna lean on the island while I make us something for dinner, maybe?”
“Yeah. Yeah, sounds good.”
Together, the two slowly waddle shuffled out to the kitchen area, Lavender easily letting Sadie give her some of her weight. As Sadie got settled at the kitchen island, she brushed some flyaways out of her face and sighed deeply, folding her arms and leaning on her elbows. “Did you eat lunch?”
Lavender rolled her eyes and shook her head fondly, grabbing a water bottle and placing it in front of Sadie before crossing to the fridge. “Yes mom, I had some lunch meat and crackers while you were napping. I’m fine, I promise. Let’s see, you want me to just…scramble some eggs, maybe some toast?”
“Mmh.” Sadie grumbled her reply, her voice muffled into the crook of her arm. When Lav looked over her shoulder and saw her bent over, water bottle in one hand and the other elbow tucked tightly around her face, she quickly closed the fridge and moved over to stand behind her cousin.
She rubbed her hands across her hips, then dug her thumbs into her lower back, snuggling close. “There?”
“Lowerrr” came the groaned reply, and she quickly slid her grip lower, kneading around her tailbone.
“Hohhh…” Sadie relaxed into the sound, bending her knees a little bit, and Lavender nodded almost to herself, continuing her kneading.
When the contraction finally released, Sadie straightened and then wordlessly waved Lavender away, giving her a small smile and then uncapping the water bottle to drink deeply.
Smiling knowingly, Lavender gave her back a pat, then went back to her buzzing around the kitchen, gathering the few things she needed to make their food. Her mind was busy, thinking not only about what she needed to do to cook (grab the eggs, whisk, make sure to heat the pan before you put the butter in, where’s the butter) but her ears were metaphorically perked, listening for if Sadie needed her.
Nuzzling her face into her elbow again, Sadie slowed her breathing and shifted her hips from side to side. The surges were getting so much closer together, and she just couldn’t get the urge to open to be satisfied. Standing definitely helped some, but she was afraid to widen her stance even more than she already had, she didn’t want to fall over.
Her breathing deepened even more as she felt her next contraction creeping up, and she opened and closed her hands a few times, shifting and bending her knees a little bit. “Lav. Laaav-” She pleaded as the surge crashed into her hips, the name melting into a deep, rumbling moan. She needed the distraction and extra sensation, plus the counterpressure.
A few running steps, and there they were, her cousin’s hands, digging and pressing into her lower back and hips. She whined a soft ‘thank you’ then tried to focus on her breathing, huffing hard. The pressure was incredible, it had changed so much just within the short time she’d been laid down.
Everything was much deeper, much more urgent. And there was a needling, an ache of ‘down’, ‘out’, ‘open’. Was this the urge to push that so many parents and teachers had talked about? She wasn’t sure, and that aspect alone made her a little anxious.
Sadie pulled in a huge, gasping breath, then blew it out roughly, puffing her cheeks. Leaning back on her heels, she pushed her hips back against Lavender’s hands, then slowly relaxed as the contraction ebbed.
Lavender gently patted her hip, then leaned and pressed a quick kiss to the back of her shoulder before pulling away and going back to the stove. As she left, Sadie dragged her head up and drank some more of her water, opening her eyes just long enough to grab the bottle before closing them again.
Water still on her lips, she buried her face in her elbow again, her other hand moving to rub big, slow circles around her heavy belly. With each exhale, she tiredly hummed a little bit, releasing the pent-up energy coursing through her body.
Unfortunately, when her next contraction began to roar through her and she called for Lavender, the eggs were already frying in the pan, their edges beginning to brown.
Whining to herself, Lavender turned down the heat and quickly ran over to her cousin, immediately gripping onto her hips and holding her tongue against the landslide of curse words threatening to spill over. They’d be fine. Probably. She glanced at the pan, then back at her cousin as she kneaded low on her back, pressing in with her thumbs and drawing tight circles.
Sadie whined, a deep and uncomfortable sound, and drew her tight hips in wide circles. She felt herself dripping, some fluid splashing to the tile below her and some snaking down the insides of her thighs. Huffing out her breath, she bent her knees and shoved her hand between her legs, pressing at her labia for some extra counterpressure.
Finding her breath again, she hauled in a huge inhale, and latched onto Lavender’s voice from behind her.
“Keep those breaths nice and deep. I’m right here, and you got this. You’re okay.”
She couldn’t respond, not with the amount of pressure coursing through her, but she managed to blow out her air a bit more slowly, then pull in a gentler inhale. She could almost feel Lavender’s smile.
“Nice work.”
Slowly, carefully, she rubbed her palm up and down her labia, burning hot and dripping, and sunk into a soft, trembling moan. Finally, the contraction slowed, then eased, and she drew herself back up. She left her hand between her legs as she panted and tried to catch her breath, fingers cupping her vagin*.
With another soft patpat on her hip, Lavender quickly rushed away, and all Sadie could hear was some whispered cursing, the click of the stove, and her frying pan being shuffled around. Once she felt like she had a bit of control again, she lifted her head and rested her chin on her forearm, smiling crookedly over at Lavender as she stood over the trashcan.
“Everything okay over there?”
Lavender jerked her head up, then smiled crookedly. “Shouldn’t have tried to cook when I gotta help you out. I’ll…clean this later. I promise.” She held up the pan with bits of egg sticking to it, and Sadie couldn’t help but laugh a little bit.
“It’s not a big deal, chuck it in the sink…we got other things to worry about.”
“Yeah, I know.” Lav sighed and tossed the pan into the sink with a clatter, then raked her fingers through her hair. “...Should we order some food?”
“Mmh. Yeah. Yeah I think that’d be good.”
“Okay let’s do it.” Smiling, Lavender came over to lean on the island next to her cousin, pulling her phone from her pocket and holding it between the two of them so they could both see it.
–
Two more intense contractions, hunched over the kitchen counter, and their order was placed, for delivery, from Sadie’s favorite Chinese place.
Another three contractions, one at the kitchen island, one halfway to the livingroom with her hands on her knees and a low rumbling roar in her chest, and one leaning on the back of the couch, and the cousins got settled in the livingroom again. Sadie rested on her yoga ball and very lightly rolled her hips in big circles, Lavender perched behind her rubbing her back.
Four more contractions, and their food arrived, thankfully left on the front porch. Lavender grabbed the paper bags and drinks during a breather, very quickly dealing out the food onto the coffee table and flopping herself on the couch right next to Sadie so they could eat.
It was hard for Sadie to eat, but she knew she needed the energy. Once the first bit of orange chicken touched her tongue, though, her body suddenly reminded her how much energy she was spending, and she became ravenous. She ate like a wild thing between each roaring contraction, her sounds shifting from the soft grunts and moans of the early day. Now she was rumbling, groaning, and softly lowing, working alongside the intense pressure and shift of energies.
Lavender made sure she ate too, but couldn’t hide back a few giggles at how much Sadie was eating.
“Whaaat?” Her cousin whined, one cheek full of rice.
“Nothing!! I’m just glad we got some food in you! Don’t choke!” Lavender laughed, and Sadie rolled her eyes, setting down her fork and taking a big sip of her drink.
“Listen, I am so tired and this tastes so good. Don’t you dare make fun of the pregnant lady.”
“You ain’t gonna be pregnant for long! Then I can make fun of you all I want.”
Sadie huffed through her nose, but grinned at Lavender as she picked her fork back up again. “Deal. Now pass me more of that duck sauce.”
She had a few contractions while they ate, but simply moaned and rumbled her way through them, swaying her hips side to side on the ball with the heels of her hands pressed tightly to her knees. Lavender rubbed one cool hand firmly up and down her spine, and she breathed.
With her rest and now food, she felt refreshed. Like she had gotten some energy back. She felt…much more ready. Much more solid, more prepared to fully open and bring her baby out.
Once she finished her food and bounced her way through another contraction, Sadie used the edge of the coffee table to help herself to her feet. “Mmmh. Okay. I’m gonna go back outside…sit on the yoga mat…I need some moon time.”
“Mkay. You want me out there?” Lavender mumbled through her mouthful, blinking up at her cousin.
“It’s fine, just whenever you finish eating. I’m good for a few contractions I think.” Sadie smiled at her, then grabbed one of the towels on the couch and waddled for the back door. Lavender watched her go, then quickly turned back to eating. She didn’t want to miss anything.
Using her foot, she scooted the yoga mat over a bit more to the center of the porch, then clumsily draped the towel over it before carefully kneeling down onto the soft surface. Once down, she flopped back onto her butt with a deep sigh, feeling a contraction prodding and nudging at her lower back. With a soft huff through her nose, she pulled her heels to her backside, butterflying her knees, then tugged off her top, baring both her belly and breasts.
As the contraction crashed into her hips, she closed her eyes and leaned back on her hands, hauling in a deep breath. She dissolved into a low, rumbling moan as she breathed out, letting her head lazily tilt and fall onto one shoulder and keeping her jaw loose and open. The night was cool, with a breeze that flowed across her warm skin.
With each exhale, she moaned, her throat open, her ribs vibrating, her belly tightening in her lap, against her thighs. This was what she had been envisioning, bathing in the moonlight, centering herself with the energy of the universe, focusing and connecting with her body and her baby.
As the contraction peaked, Sadie gasped, lifting her head. Her eyelashes fluttered a little bit, and she arched her back, just slightly, pushing her hips forward. No, whatever she had thought before, THIS was the urge. She needed to push, with every fiber of her being, her body and her baby needed her to push.
Guided by her instincts and the moon, Sadie gasped in another small breath, then gave her first push, jaw dropped to her chest. She melted into a soft groan, then released the energy, lifting a hand to grab at her belly and a dizzy smile fluttering across her face as she panted.
Once she caught her breath, she let her head fall over onto her shoulder as she gave another push, her breath and sound softly bubbling, straining in the back of her throat. She could feel more fluid escaping her, dripping down her thighs onto the towel below her, and, best of all, there was a bulging, a warmth.
Once the contraction faded and she released her push, Sadie shifted her weight and brought one hand down into her lap, pressing the pads of her fingers against her labia. There it was, the bulge of her baby, right there waiting. A huge smile broke across her face, and she began to laugh, letting her head fall back.
The back door slid open, and she heard Lavender’s footsteps jogging quickly out toward her. Sadie dragged her eyes open to look up at her cousin, who had a bewildered expression on her face.
“Baby’s coming.”
Lavender absolutely lit up, beaming from ear to ear. “Wait, now?”
“Yeah. Now.” Sadie giggled, belly bouncing, and Lavender laughed too, pressing her forehead against her cousin’s.
“Alright. What do you need. Where do you want me. Let’s do this!”
Sadie nodded, then pulled back and exhaled, cheeks puffed, as she massaged at her labia. “Okay. Get, um. Get the towels and blankets and stuff. Bring em all. And My water, and grab that rose quartz heart I had earlier. And turn on the lights, switch is by the door.”
“You got it. Be right back.” Lavender smoothed a hand over her hair, then stood and rushed back inside.
The fairy lights strung around the awning flickered on before she went outside, and Sadie sighed in relief, glad to be able to see a bit better but also that the light wasn’t harsh. Slowly pulling in a deep breath, she blew it back out and looked down at her belly, still very gently massaging her labia. “Okay. Okay baby. Let’s do this. You and me. We can do it.”
Another contraction gripped her pelvis before Lavender returned, so without waiting, Sadie closed her eyes, let her head fall back, and pushed, jaw falling open slack and fingers pressing against her labia. They swelled and bulged under her hand, fluid escaping and running down her fingers, and she moaned deeply as she released her energy. They were coming. She was doing it. Here, under the moon.
Lavender arrived back with the blankets as she began to push again, and she quickly kneeled down next to her cousin, setting the things down next to Sadie and holding the water bottle and crystal clutched in the other hand. She watched in amazement as Sadie’s belly changed shape while she pushed; it pulled into a heavy, beautiful teardrop shape with each groan of effort, and it was almost magical.
Lavender first rested her hand on Sadie’s thigh to let her know she was there, then, when Sadie let go of her push to catch her breath, she carefully rested the rose quartz stone on top of her belly, between her breasts. In response, Sadie smiled, nodding a couple of times as she blew out her breath.
The contraction faded, but didn’t fully go away, seeming to give Sadie a rest. The new mom focused on her breathing, shifting her hips side to side a bit as she pulled in deep, long breaths and pursed her breath to exhale, blowing out imaginary candles.
“You got it…” Lavender whispered softly, then shifted to peek between her legs. She rested her cool hand on Sadie’s thigh as she did so, an amazed tone in her voice as she whispered. “You’re really bulging…they’re right there, Sadie. That’s your baby.”
Sadie just hummed a soft reply, a smile flickering on her face. It felt good to have confirmation that she really was moving the baby down, that her pushes were working. As the contraction grew in strength again, she tilted her head onto the other shoulder, drew in her breath, and pushed again, her jaw slowly coming open.
Bulging, fluid leaking, warmth, stretching. Between her fingers, she felt a shift, an opening, and there, there between the pads of her fingers, was…
“Holy sh*t.” Lavender whispered, and Sadie whimpered as she grunted and released her push.
“Nngh. What…? You can’t just-”
“No, no, I’m sorry. Sadie, don’t push for a second. Just, uhm. Blow.”
Puffing her cheeks, Sadie did just that, scrunching her eyes and nose as she blew out her breath in short bursts. She heard and felt Lavender shift, knew she was peering closer between her legs. Finally, her voice, awed and hushed, came from lower down between her knees.
“Sadie. I think…baby’s coming out…face first.”
Sadie’s eyes snapped open, and she jerked her head up to look down at Lavender, jaw dropped. “...What?”
“Yeah, I see…I see their chin. And I think that’s their nose…”
“Oh…oh wow.” Biting her lip, Sadie carefully explored between her legs with her fingertips, trying to figure out what she was feeling. Lavender giggled and patted her thigh, then rubbed her upper arm.
“I’m serious, it’s…kind of incredible. I think you need to keep pushing, though.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Mind whirring, Sadie quickly pulled her hand away and leaned back on it, shifting her hips and lifting up one knee. Planting that foot firmly on the ground, she lifted her hips up a little bit further, and glanced over at her cousin as she nodded.
“I need your hand-”
“Yep.” Already reaching, Lavender gently laid her hand just where Sadie had had hers, her fingers pressing on her parting labia. “I gotcha. I’m right here.”
It was a relief, almost immediate, to feel both the physical and emotional support. Nodding and licking her lips, Sadie closed her eyes and tried to pull her focus back in.
Taking in a deep and concentrated inhale, she pushed again, belly lurching against her thighs as she let herself push quite a bit harder than she had before. Her jaw slowly opened as she felt herself burning, bulging, opening, and she let out a loud cry of effort as the pressure grew in intensity.
“You got it, you got it, Sadie!” Came Lavender’s excited cry, and Sadie groaned as she released her push, taking a few quick, panting breaths before pushing again. Despite the roaring pressure, it felt incredible to work alongside her body, to feel herself opening, and to do what she knew she needed to do for her baby. Bracing her foot hard against the mat beneath her, she pushed her hips up further toward Lavender, toward the moon, and grunted, her teeth gritting.
“Yes, that’s it…” Lav murmured, watching in awe as the baby’s face, red and scrunched, finally emerged fully. She quickly stroked some of the birth away from their little face, giggling softly. “Oh, they’re so cute. They have a little button nose, Sadie…”
Her heart leapt, and Sadie melted into a few soft giggles as she shifted and pulled her heel back toward her butt further. She took a moment to catch her breath, chest heaving, then all but melted into another firm, hard push, belly rolling and dropping into a heavy teardrop. The baby’s head held steady, some fluid escaping from around their face, as she pushed, caught her breath, and pushed again.
The contractions weren’t stopping, but Sadie didn’t even seem to notice. Time was still, everything revolved around pushing now. With a grunt, she released her push, then shifted her hips again, rocking from side to side before settling. Lavender nodded as she did, following her as best she could and then settling her hand back down. “That’s it…it’s all good…”
When she felt ready to push again, this time Sadie lifted a hand and grabbed her lifted leg by the knee, pulling it back toward her chest a bit. Once it was back, she inhaled deeply and melted into a loud, rumbling roar, her jaw dropped open and relaxed. Lavender beamed, immediately scooting closer and pressing both hands against either side of her cousin’s emerging baby. “Yes! Yes, go, Sadie! Go!”
The cheering gave Sadie a burst of energy. With a soft splutter, she relaxed, panted for breath, then pushed again, roaring and curling forward around her belly, toward her baby. Fluid gushed, splashing onto Lavender’s forearms, and both women let out differing cries of happiness as the baby’s head popped forward and free. Lavender of excitement and wonder as she cradled the little one in her palms, Sadie of relief and victory.
“I’ve got ‘em, I’ve got their head. Oh my god, that was amazing. That was incredible, Sadie. Oh my god!” Lavender babbled, and Sadie couldn’t help but tiredly laugh, slowly dragging her eyes open and trying to peer over her belly. She could see the top of the little scrunched head, but not much else, and she relaxed back onto her hands, letting her head fall back in relief. She tried to catch her breath and slow her breathing, but the euphoria and energy rolling through her body made that difficult.
After a moment, the contraction nudged her again, and she felt the incredible sensation of her baby turning inside her, the shoulders shifting and dropping into position. Her jaw dropped, and Sadie’s eyes fluttered closed as she gave herself over and let it happen, trying not to push or interfere.
She tugged in a deep breath, then puffed her cheeks and blew it out, tilting her head up toward the sky, the moon. Her baby settled, and she felt her body take control and push for her, belly lurching just a bit and coaxing a soft, grumbly grunt from the new mom.
“There’s a shoulder…” Lavender whispered, staring in amazement at the baby held in her hands. Shifting them to one hand, she quickly flailed and grabbed at the blankets she’d brought, shaking one out and draping it over her hand before bringing it back over closer. “They’re coming, Sadie. They’re almost here.”
A smile fluttered across Sadie’s face, and she took a big inhale, trying to commit to memory how this felt, the intense pressure mixing and mingling with the euphoria and exhaustion. The smile stayed on her face as she tilted her head onto her shoulder and crinkled her nose, giving a small, grunty push.
The shoulders of her baby both easily emerged with a small splash of fluid, and Sadie dissolved into a happy, gaspy moan as, a moment later, her baby wriggled inside her, then came sliding out right into Lavender’s waiting hands and the blanket.
Lavender squealed in happiness as she scooped the little one up, wrapping the blanket around their shoulders and very quickly moving them up and onto Sadie’s chest.
As soon as she felt the baby slide free, Sadie’s eyes had opened wide, one hand lifting and reaching for her baby. Once their little, warm body rested against her chest, she wrapped her arm around them and let herself slowly fall back onto her back, exhausted, euphoric laughter bubbling from her chest.
The rose quartz heart had managed to stay tucked between her breasts as she pushed, shifted, and finally gave birth. As she clutched her crying baby to her breast, Lavender snuggled up to her cousin and quickly picked it up off of her skin, touching it to the baby’s wrinkly forehead before setting it aside on the pile of blankets.
That would definitely be a story to tell. Despite the false starts, her cousin had trusted in her body, the universe, her baby, and what she knew, and gave birth under the moon. It was exactly what she’d envisioned, even after getting discouraged. And the rose quartz heart was now a symbol of that magical night.
