my toddler is driving me NUTS - August 2022 Babies | Forums | What to Expect (2024)

However frustrating it is, this is totally normal behavior. You did right by setting a boundary (no more chocolate), and sticking to it even though she had a meltdown. It doesn’t ruin the whole day for her, just for us sometimes lol. Toddlers have such big feelings, a newfound independence they want to assert, and hardly any communication skills to voice their needs/frustrations. I feel bad for them honestly lol.

Gratitude is something that toddlers are not capable of expressing at this age. It’s a complex emotion and their little brains just cannot do that at this moment so don’t feel like she should be grateful and she just isn’t. She doesn’t know that emotion yet.

Model emotional regulation. Let her tantrum, go all out. Just sit there with her and model calmness, breath control, and ride it out. After it’s over comfort her and validate the emotion by saying “you wanted more chocolate, it made you mad that you couldn’t have anymore, I get it. Too much colócate will make

You sick and mommy doesn’t want you to get sick). Or something along those lines but only after the tantrum is over. Could be 5 minutes or an hour, we have to be patient. This requires a ton of patience and emotional regulation in our part. It’s hard. But if we want them to have emotional regulation we have to model it

Ourselves.

I am a parent coach and fellow toddler mama here to tell you that these behaviors are completely normal and you aren't alone. However, that doesn't mean that they aren't challenging and completely overwhelming for the whole family sometimes! At this age, their little brains are still underdeveloped and aren’t able to manage and appropriately express their emotions yet. Not to mention that they also can’t communicate their feelings or dislikes with us very well and feel more driven to be independent than they once did. Add these together and they are even more predisposed to those big feelings bubbling over ALL OF THE TIME! As parents, we can only imagine how frustrating all of this must be for them!

I would encourage you to continue being her safe space as she experiences these range of emotions. Use simple language (think like a caveman) to validate her emotions in moments of distress because they can get lost in our adult urge to over-explain things sometimes. Over time, this models how we talk about our feelings and shows her that you are acknowledging and validating her feelings about something that she doesn’t like or is frustrated with.

After validating her big feelings, it’s time to put a boundary in place or redirect the behavior. She won’t always like it and that’s okay. Staying consistent and sticking to your boundaries will help over time. If you say no chocolate, STICK TO YOUR WORD! Otherwise, the tantrums will get longer if she knows that you’ll eventually give in to them!

Most importantly, take care of yourself too. It's nearly impossible for us to stay centered enough to support them through all of these big feelings and tantrums if we aren't taking care of ourselves first.

If you ever feel like you need a little extra support with understanding and working through this toddler phase of life, check out my website (nurturecoachingofct.weebly.com). Best of luck!

I don’t blame her reaction to be honest. If she’s only allowed 2 kisses then only bring 2 so you’re not showcasing there’s more. It’s like when you buy yourself a chocolate block and you say you’ll only have 2 pieces but it’s there tempting you and you eat the whole thing ��

All this to say a child lacks impulse control more so than us. You’re dangling a tasty carrot in front of her, of course she’s going to have this reaction. Plan ahead and set her up for success.

They are little people learning to navigate this world. She doesn’t understand why she can’t just eat all the chocolate. My son went through a tantrum stage at 14 months and we worked through it. Now he’s back at it again, they’re testing boundaries, seeing what they can/cannot do. It’s our job to set and hold boundaries, teach them self control and regulation. It’s hard for sure. But they learn a lot from just seeing how we react.

I took mine to the pool today and I’m not sure either of us had fun. I briefly wished we would’ve just gone for a walk since it would be a lot less work, but thinking that would just put me in a mood.

I can’t imagine how hard it is to not get a break seeing as your spouse is away. Have grace with your baby and yourself. They’re learning to be functioning humans and you’re learning to be a mom. Perfection is impossible.